(Alfred: being teetotal myself I can’t speak with any great authority or immediate personal experience about Rwandan beers but I have had numerous opportunities to observe their effect on my lord and master. Basically, for those of you who have not been here, there are two main Rwandan beers, Primus which comes in a 72cl bottle at 5% proof and Mützig which comes in a 65cl bottle and is 5.5% and a bit more expensive. They are both lager-type beers and taste good. Actually, it should be pointed out that both types come in a 33cl bottle as well but Ruairí – after 15 months – still seems unaware of this fact. You can also get other beers – Amstel, Guinness and Heineken and some posh places also do imported Ugandan and Kenyan beers.
But now we have a third beer from the great Bralirwa Brewery in Gisenyi with the wonderful name of TURBO KING and a picture of a growling lion on it (memo to Ruairí: photo needed). It is a dark beer in a 72cl bottle and 6.5% proof. Strong stuff. The billboards advertising it show a huge bottle of TURBO KING thrusting dramatically through a concrete floor with the slogan ‘MARK OF A MAN’. Ruairí said it tasted of mice but he was slurring so badly he may have been trying to say something different …..)
On the topic of marketing, Bralirwa launched a huge advertising campaign last year to promote Mützig with the slogan ‘La goûte de réussite/The Taste of Success’, resulting in a catastrophic drop in sales of Primus which was promptly dubbed ‘loser’s beer’. This year they have been trying to redress the balance with a huge Primus campaign celebrating its 50th anniversary. At least not as bad as some of the other slogans and brand names you get here – anyone for Climax toilet freshener or Gislady sanitary towels? I thought not … )
Commonwealth, France and Landmines
Well, yesterday was a pretty awesome day here in Rwanda. Despite some concerns over human rights issues Rwanda’s application to join the British Commonwealth was accepted, only the second country to join that was never actually a British colony at any stage (Mozambique is the other and you can check it out on Wikipedia if you want the details on how that happened). And simultaneously it was announced that Rwanda and France are to restore normal diplomatic relations after three years of pretty much open hostility. And then later that day Rwanda was officially declared landmine-free under the terms of the Ottawa Treaty signed in 2008. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ottawa_Treaty and http://allafrica.com/stories/200911300008.html if you are interested).
So a pretty damn good day all round – though one of the articles on the BBC website did bring a wry grin. Presumably the title was composed by someone in the BBC but it could just as well have been someone in Rwanda – ‘What would the Commonwealth do for Rwanda?’ (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8382676.stm) Rwanda may be in for a bit of a shock if they think that Commonwealth is anything other than symbolic, other than maybe for Rwandans trying to get work or study permits for the UK. I don’t think wandering around the Commonwealth Conference bleating ‘amafaranga, give me money’ is going to get very far at the moment.
The re-establishment of ties with France is particularly good news if it marks a step towards abandoning the extreme anti-French policy of the moment. In a country where a lot of people have a good standard of French, the policy – whether officially or not – will have the result of replacing French with English rather than trying to have both. Poised strategically as it is in the Great Lakes region between the francophone Democratic Republic of Congo on one side and the Anglophone East African Community on the other (of which Rwanda is now a member and which membership was the basis for their being allowed into the Commonwealth), Rwanda would be able to have the best of both worlds if it retained linguistic and cultural ties with the francophone African countries, an ability no other country in East Africa would have. On verra. (Alfred: The only worrying aspect about this is that I actually heard Ruairí saying something complimentary about Nicolas Sarkozy the other day! I mean, I’m all for international peace and harmony but steady on!)
The Murphy Commission and the IRA
Mentioned this before but have just finished reading the first part of the report last night in bed and haven’t the stomach to start on the second part quite yet. I remember in my youth and early adulthood the embarrassment or ennui of constantly hearing people respond with ‘IRA’, ‘car bombs’ or ‘Oh – that’s where all the Protestants and Catholics are killing each other, isn’t it?’ whenever you mentioned you were from Ireland. Seems like the good old days now……
Elie, April’s Bad Taste Birthday Party, the Ambassador’s Dinner and Football
April Lyons had a great birthday party in Gitarama on the night of the first Ireland-France World Cup Qualifier match – it was fancy dress and the theme was ‘Bad Taste’ – I think I managed to live up to the billing. I had come up to Gitarama the previous afternoon and met up with Karen in town for a drink. This random Rwandan guy materialised out of the darkness and stood by our table and I suddenly realised it was my friend Elie from Butare who is now studying in Kabgayi University in Gitarama. It was so good to see him again, though he has not been working on his English as much as I hoped. Luckily Karen’s French is good so that was OK. So the next day after the market shopping for our Bad Taste Outfits, Martine and I met him for a drink – a long leisurely drink as it turned out – and then he came to the party with us. However we had to leave after a short while to go and watch the Ireland-France match. Nice hotel called Landos with a really nice bar, though not a nice result. I also found out that drinking Mützig in the afternoon, waragi (Ugandan gin) at the party and then two Turbo Kings on top is a recipe for getting quite pissed (Alfred: see TURBO KING entry above) but I managed to get home OK, or somebody got me home anyway. A great night and it was nice to see people like Paul and Anna whom I hadn’t seen in ages. (Alfred: and once Ruairí gets around to making Facebook friends with April, he may be able to steal some photos of the occasion to show you!)
(Alfred: Oh Lord – OK, I didn’t actually say it to him because he was having so much fun going around Gitarama Market with Martine looking at awful shirts and other stuff but he could have turned up in pretty much anything he owns – that orange and black Kampala shirt? The one from Las Vegas with the blue pineapples? The various caftan-type things he has bought or his Nigerian igwe costume some of you may have seen on earlier pages? Granted, the leopard-skin hat with plastic rose attached was a step further than his usual attire but I have seen him looking at the shirt he bought with fondness since the event! Martine bought what she hoped was going to be a pretty awful shirt – black with huge flames licking up from the waist – but only succeeded in looking even hotter than she usually does. IMHO)
The following Wednesday it was up to Kigali as Kevin Kelly, the Irish Ambassador to Rwanda was in town and had invited all Irish citizens to join him for dinner. Apparently there are 14 of us in the entire country, at least that are known to be here. I was amazed that it was so few – usually you find us everywhere! Karen and I arrived late but it was a great night with lovely food and wine. But, it turned out the restaurant had no TV so, à la April’s party, eight of us ducked out early to find somewhere to watch the match. We ended up in the MTN Centre in a nice bar and watched the rest of what transpired. Most of the Rwandans were supporting France but after the ‘incident’ …… ah crap, nothing worse than well-meaning sympathy when you are feeling that annoyed. Mind you, I was surprised at the extent of reaction back home – remember how sympathetic we were to the English when Diego Maradonna had his ‘Hand of God’ incident? Or how we qualified for Euro 1988 courtesy of an illegal Scottish goal in Sofia? Shit happens.
Bye bye Bruce at Home St Jean
I went to Kibuye for the weekend to say goodbye to Bruce Upton who has just finished his second year here. We stayed at Home St Jean which is on a different part of the lake to Bethany where I stayed with my mother in August but it is probably even more beautiful, closer to town and has the worst service that I have experienced yet in Rwanda (Alfred: steady on now, that’s one hell of a claim to make. Remember the two-and-a-half hour breakfast in the Hotel Splendide where they didn’t have any Blue Band or powdered milk or bread?) Well, maybe, but Home St Jean is designed to deal with large groups on a regular basis so how can they still be so bad? We did walk down to another place called the Golf Hotel which is on a nice little bay and is not actually that much more expensive given that breakfast is included. Anyway, we had a nice time though everyone went walking and swimming and, in Bruce’s case, got attacked by a monkey (the same one that attacked Marion a few weeks ago) so after dinner everyone was too knackered for the salsa dancing Bruce had planned!! But it was a nice couple of days and it was also nice that only half the people there were VSO – good to see Nathan and Tom and Karen and the others again (Alfred: 'the others'! Ruairí is afraid he won't spell the names properly! He also tells me Tom got his hair cut REALLY short and removed his beard. He used to look like Jesus is supposed to have looked like – need to get myself a photo) and I was also able to book the accommodation for Christmas because eight of us are coming up here for four days. Should be nice. Here are some photos of what the place looks like. (Alfred: well, the flowers and bugs and stuff anyway. Don’t get this – surely a picture of a butterfly could have been taken anywhere? Why no pictures of the actual people who came – Helen and Soraya and Bruce and Nathan and ….. meh!)
Three views from the balcony outside our bedroom the afternoon we arrived
Same view the following morning
Baby papayas
Very adult papayas
Baby papayas
Very adult papayas
Martine in pensive mood by the lake
Lakeside near where you can go swimming
Food
(Alfred: One of the things that people most often ask about is: ‘What does he eat?’ Well, since Sarah arrived, a slightly wider range of foods it has to be said but the main limiting factor is what’s available in the local market – so that’s tomatoes, peppers, onions, cabbage, potatoes, imboga (kind of spinach), beans (dried and occasionally green), corn in season, bananas and mangoes. There are other things that he doesn’t eat – cassava, intoryi (small green aubergines which are foul),sweet potatoes and plantain. Sarah and Martine did decide to cook plantain one night but, while it tasted nice, it was an amazing amount of effort and the cutlery was almost impossible to clean afterwards.
He and Sarah eat a lot of rice and occasionally pasta with sauces made from the above vegetables and also occasionally lentils or chickpeas which they get in Kigali (occasionally because one tin of chickpeas costs 15-25% of a day’s income). There is also a range of ready-made Indian meals by Ashoka which are really good – foil boil-in-the-bag things at RWF1800 each to feed two people.
And there are avocados. Avocados here are really cheap – four or five for RWF100 (11c)- and absolutely gorgeous. Apparently back in the 1960s some President of Rwanda ordered every family to plant an avocado tree so they would have cheap nutritious food to eat for part of the year so they are everywhere. Ruairí and Sarah share one every mealtime as a starter and get quite upset if they run out.
So, to celebrate this fact, I decided to write a poem. Ruairí quite likes writing poems from time to time (see September’s blog for the ‘Ode to Andy’) but I don’t see why I shouldn’t have a go. Mind you, finding rhymes for ‘Rwanda’ and ‘avocado’ isn’t easy …….
AVOCADO – THE BEST!
Since he’s come here to Rwanda
Ruairí likes his avocado,
Smiling like La Gioconda
He spreads it thin on a tostado,
Just like in ‘A Fish Called Wanda’
(Or was it not in ‘Silverado?’),
Tastes better than fried anaconda
As was served in ‘El Dorado’
Or worn by Mrs C. Miranda
When she sang in ‘The Mikado’. *
Eat them out on the verandah
Or when visiting the Prado,
Eat them when you’re in Uganda
Eat them out of sheer bravado,
Share it with a peon and a
Moustachioed desperado,
Smear a morsel on Jane Fonda
In the sands of Colorado,
Eat them digging in the Rhondda
Or when incommunicado.
Whether you’re a Chinese panda
Or Nelly ‘Broken Strings’ Furtado,
In charge of Danish propaganda
Or famous cyclist P. Delgado
The finest flavour in Rwanda
Just has to be ripe avocado.
* OK, so Carmen Miranda wasn't in 'The Mikado', give yourselves a break and save the outraged emails!
(Alfred: One of the things that people most often ask about is: ‘What does he eat?’ Well, since Sarah arrived, a slightly wider range of foods it has to be said but the main limiting factor is what’s available in the local market – so that’s tomatoes, peppers, onions, cabbage, potatoes, imboga (kind of spinach), beans (dried and occasionally green), corn in season, bananas and mangoes. There are other things that he doesn’t eat – cassava, intoryi (small green aubergines which are foul),sweet potatoes and plantain. Sarah and Martine did decide to cook plantain one night but, while it tasted nice, it was an amazing amount of effort and the cutlery was almost impossible to clean afterwards.
He and Sarah eat a lot of rice and occasionally pasta with sauces made from the above vegetables and also occasionally lentils or chickpeas which they get in Kigali (occasionally because one tin of chickpeas costs 15-25% of a day’s income). There is also a range of ready-made Indian meals by Ashoka which are really good – foil boil-in-the-bag things at RWF1800 each to feed two people.
And there are avocados. Avocados here are really cheap – four or five for RWF100 (11c)- and absolutely gorgeous. Apparently back in the 1960s some President of Rwanda ordered every family to plant an avocado tree so they would have cheap nutritious food to eat for part of the year so they are everywhere. Ruairí and Sarah share one every mealtime as a starter and get quite upset if they run out.
So, to celebrate this fact, I decided to write a poem. Ruairí quite likes writing poems from time to time (see September’s blog for the ‘Ode to Andy’) but I don’t see why I shouldn’t have a go. Mind you, finding rhymes for ‘Rwanda’ and ‘avocado’ isn’t easy …….
AVOCADO – THE BEST!
Since he’s come here to Rwanda
Ruairí likes his avocado,
Smiling like La Gioconda
He spreads it thin on a tostado,
Just like in ‘A Fish Called Wanda’
(Or was it not in ‘Silverado?’),
Tastes better than fried anaconda
As was served in ‘El Dorado’
Or worn by Mrs C. Miranda
When she sang in ‘The Mikado’. *
Eat them out on the verandah
Or when visiting the Prado,
Eat them when you’re in Uganda
Eat them out of sheer bravado,
Share it with a peon and a
Moustachioed desperado,
Smear a morsel on Jane Fonda
In the sands of Colorado,
Eat them digging in the Rhondda
Or when incommunicado.
Whether you’re a Chinese panda
Or Nelly ‘Broken Strings’ Furtado,
In charge of Danish propaganda
Or famous cyclist P. Delgado
The finest flavour in Rwanda
Just has to be ripe avocado.
* OK, so Carmen Miranda wasn't in 'The Mikado', give yourselves a break and save the outraged emails!
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