Christmas Update

Ruairí does karaoke
(Alfred: Well, it had to happen. And, if we don't have photos, at least we have several witnesses to an occasion his friends and family thought - and hoped - would never happen. On the first night that Amanda (Martine's daughter) and her husband Dave arrived from Melbourne, they went to a little local bar/restaurant for a bite to eat. It turned out to be a karaoke bar and served just bar snacks (like deep-fried beef cartilage in breadcrumbs, yummy!).

And then it happened. Having presumably overheard a mention of 'Hotel California', the DJ put it on and the microphone was thrust into our erstwhile hero's hand. At least he rose to the challenge manfully. In fact, to tell the truth, Ruairí has managed to select a country to move to where the average quality of singing pretty much approximates his own. So, maybe next week it will be Westlife (they LOVE Westlife here).)

Christmas in Lao
(Alfred: Ruairí is not really a Christmas person in much the same way that Barack Obama is not a practising Muslim - he has nothing whatsoever against the idea, it just isn't his own personal cup of tea. But this year he* has managed to come up with an idea that has made Christmas HUGELY enjoyable!)
(*Original source of idea not guaranteed to be Ruairí)

Indeed, Christmas for me is more to be got through than enjoyed, no idea why, always enjoyed it immensely as a child but there you are. This year, living in a country where Christmas is pretty much a nonevent - other than department stores and others who try and cash in on the event and the general Lao habit of having a party for any possible reason, and also having Martine's daughter, Amanda and her husband Dave staying with us - the question arose 'What shall we do for Christmas Day?' And then the answer miraculously presented itself: a guided market tour followed by a cookery class.

Neuk and Amanda in the tuk-tuk

The organisers (The Full Moon Cafe in Rue Francois Ngin) did seem a bit bemused that we wanted it for Christmas Day but said 'OK'. So we got up at six and cycled into town and were there ready and waiting at eight o'clock. And it was brilliant! We got a tuk-tuk with Neuk, our guide, to a huge open market, far larger than the one we were used to visiting. We explored the different areas - fruit, vegetables, meat, fish, snacks, herbs, you-name-it and asked a million questions, including things that had been bugging us ever since we arrived.  Such as - what exactly are the differences between the different kinds of rice, what are various weird-looking vegetables called, how do they make fish sauce (Alfred: Enough, already).

Then we had snacks and coffee - purple sticky rice with coconut (Alfred: Yummy!) and pork skins in powdered rice, chillis and scallions spooned into lettuce leaves (Alfred: Yum... well, actually, not bad!). The photos will give you a better idea but the place was wonderful and SO clean! The meat section did not have a single fly in it and the place was (for the most part) kept clean and tidy (Alfred: One did try to ignore the fact that customers tended to pick up, examine and squeeze each piece of meat on display before making a choice. Make mine well done, garcon!).

Then I bought a proper rice steamer for making sticky rice (Alfred: Em, I think you will find that Amanda and Dave bought that for you as a Christmas present) and checked where we can get traditional Lao charcoal barbecues for future reference. And then it was off to cook.

We were running a little late at this stage so we stopped off briefly to pick up two additional guests (Riet and Marie) who were just doing the cookery part and then off to Neuk's kitchen. Here we made:

• mekong fish baked in banana leaves
• sticky rice
• four different dipping sauces (these are used with everything)
• laap (traditional Lao dish of minced meat and a variety of herbs served on lettuce leaves)
• papaya salad

We also had Martine's favourite dessert, mango with sweet sticky rice (mixed with sweet coconut milk) - we were supposed to make it but I think we had run over time so it was just presented to us at the end. Then it was back to town to collect our bikes and the half-hour cycle home, which was well needed by this stage!!

Happy Christmas from Alfred!

Martine in her Robin Hood Christmas costume!

Meeting at the Full Moon Café.
Who thought getting up at 6 a.m. on Christmas Day was a good idea???

Buffalo skin - a bit like pork rinds,
only with buffalo

         

How many different varieties of beef jerky would you like?

Snack food - quail and fish

Frogs - big ones!

So you mix your pork skin shreds with crushed fried raw rice, chillis, spring onions
and herbs, then spoon it into lettuce leaves, wrap and eat!

Stunning mushrooms, 5kg bags

Tamarind pulp

Fresh tofu

Now for the lesson!

Neuk starting off the lesson

Making the cooking sauce for fish baked in banana leaves

Vegetables to be charred on the grill and then pulped for dipping sauces

Fish on banana leaf

Christmas dinner! From L to R: Amanda, Dave, Neuk, Riet, Marie and Martine

Spiders, snakes and other animals

(Alfred: time was when I was the only non-human denizen in this family but we seem to be accumulating additional members at a ferocious rate. First Astérix and Obélix, whom you have already met, then three more cats who are, in their different ways, trying to get us to adopt them - Maori One, Maori Two and an old, battered and not particularly friendly tomcat called Grouchy. Whether they will stay or not remains to be seen. We also suspect Maori Two is pregnant, that or a feline sumo wrestler in training.

 And now we have Vladimir, the Golden Silk Orb Weaver spider (Nephila pilipes), whose web hangs in the starfruit tree, luckily just above head level so you wouldn't walk right into it. My cousin Jan in Phuket says they are basically harmless and the garden of his hotel is full of them. Wikipedia, on the other hand, says:

The venom of the golden silk orb-weaver is potent but not lethal to humans. It has a neurotoxic effect similar to that of the black widow spider; however, its venom is not nearly as powerful. The bite causes local pain, redness, and blisters that normally disappear within a 24-hour interval. In rare cases, it might trigger allergic reactions and result in respiratory troubles (in asthmatics) or fast-acting involuntary muscle cramps. As the genus possesses relatively strong chelicerae, the bite could leave a scar on hard tissue (such as fingers).

So I think we will be staying clear. No, thank you, I don't want a piggyback ride in the garden! Oh, and Jan also said we should be a lot more worried about snakes in the garden than spiders. Thanks, Jan and a Happy Christmas to you too!)