RUAIRÍ’S ADVENTURES ON THE WAY BACK FROM UGANDA (Part 4)

Please note that VSO is in no way connected with or responsible for the content, comments and observations in this blog: these are solely my own in a personal capacity.

Friday 10th April
Hmmm..... the journey back was a bit of a trial compared to heading to Kampala. Bus was packed with a lot of small children who, it has to be admitted, were astonishingly quiet and well-behaved in the circumstances. One little three- or four-year-old spent the journey on the floor beside my seat as there wasn’t space for him anywhere else. We also came back through Nyagatare which is a longer way and, once we crossed the border, we stopped at EVERY SINGLE PLACE, I kid you not. Seven and a half hours to Kampala, twelve hours coming back.

The high point was the onboard videos. Again it was some soap opera or other in English but, instead of being either subtitled or dubbed, this was dubbed in a special Rwandan way. Whoever was doing the voiceover didn’t speak while the actors were speaking but, during the pauses between bits of dialogue, would shout out either a résumé or a translation of what had just been said. And I mean SHOUT! Sometimes there was an overlap so I suppose the shouting was to make sure he could be heard over the original dialogue, I don’t know. This went on for hours. Els and I tried to ignore it but every now and again the entire bus would erupt in applause or hissing or something and we would begin to think we were missing something good, but God knows what it was!

The other nice thing (Alfred: OTHER? As opposed to what?) was crossing the border into Rwanda – I really felt back at home again! There was a laughable customs check, where the only thing they seemed interested in was plastic bags (and the ones that were confiscated were promptly snaffled by the locals anyway) and some Ugandans who seemed astonished that nobody could speak or understand English. The passport check was also interesting – the guy passed along the bus checking we all had our visa stamps. When he got mine, he said:’ Irish? Northern or Republic?’ which showed a greater knowledge of Ireland than any other Rwandan I have met (most think it is actually Holland). When Els handed over her British passport, he asked her: ‘And how is the Queen doing these days?’. Nice to see a man who makes an effort with his work!

And that was pretty much that. The 12-hour journey was a bit heavy going (Els is now reconsidering following Nidhi’s example and taking a 36-hour bus journey to Zanzibar!). She headed home to Nyamata, a place I must visit sometime (Alfred: it’s a barren desert, apparently- it’s where they send people who are being internally exiled in Rwanda!) I booked into St Paul, met Andy who was up to meet Tiga who is returning Saturday, had dinner and went to bed!

Saturday 11th April

Lazy day. Long breakfast/lunch at Blues where we ran into Sonya, Paula, Ozzie Christine ... and Irish Joe! This was really nice as it is only the second time I have actually met Joe O’Toole since I got here. We sat around for hours chatting and doing absolutely nothing!!

The good news was that I had changed all my bandages etc that morning and the infection seemed completely cleared up. Still a bit sore but nothing too bad! I also got to wear my Ugandan clothes (pictures on the way, actually one there already).

Met Marion for dinner at the Chinese near Novotel and we had a really nice evening (Alfred: YOU had a really nice evening – I think we’ll let Marion speak for herself) chatting about everything under the sun: dream universes, mushrooms, psychedelic drugs, plot construction, why the Bolivian president is on hunger strike, books, the world of the deaf, the Bröntes, goodness knows what else.

Sunday 12th April
Spent the major part of today working with Ruth, one of the Education managers who is submitting her master’s thesis and wanted some help. Deadline is .... tomorrow!!! We ended up spending seven hours working on it in Simba Restaurant (Alfred: and very patient the staff were about it too!). She could do with a few more weeks to tidy it up but, hey, deadlines are deadlines.

The BIG news today is that Tiga is back!!! Met her and Andy for breakfast and she gave me a big bar of hazelnut chocolate and some shrink-wrapped real Parmesan!!!! Wottagal!

Monday 13th April
Down to Butare, checked in at the Ineza for two nights. Leg is better but still not great and I definitely don’t feel up to the moto ride to Gisagara. Rang my boss, François, to tell him. He sounded rather pissed-off and short on the phone. Suppose I have been gone for ages all right, or maybe (as one or two other volunteers mentioned) would have liked me to hang around for the Genocide Memorial stuff. Hard one to call that – I know it would show solidarity and all that but everyone I spoke to who stayed last year were adamant that getting out was the best option.

Anyway, I spent the day reading. I have finally got back into using my Palm Pilot again (Alfred: for those of you who may have missed this item 120,000 words ago, Ruairí brought a Palm Pilot – small, hand-held electronic diary – with him. It has a 2GB memory card and he has around 400 books stored on it) and have read a ton of stuff:

G. K. Chesterton, The Innocence of Father Brown, The Wisdom of Father Brown, The Man Who Knew Too Much.

McDonald, Fenian Raids on Canada (account of the Fenian invasions of Canada from the USA in 1867 and 1870)

James Joyce, Chamber Music

H. G. Wells, The Invisible Man

Oscar Wilde: Lady Windermere’s Fan, An ideal Husband, The Importance of Being Earnest, A Woman of No Importance (all read on the bus on the way back from Kampala!)

The Suppressed Gospels and Epistles of the New Testament

The Book of Mormon (Alfred: OK, he skimmed through it to be honest. Highlight is 2 Nephi 5: 21-25, worth it for that section alone!! I still think the South Park version is better – check out www.yoism.org/?q=node/307 and also www.yoism.org/?q=node/233 for their piece on Scientology, which is also brilliant!)

Crime and Punishment (Alfred: read this because his dad really liked it, but gave up two-thirds of the way through; wonder what did happen to Rashkolnikov in the end?)


Have now started Tom Sawyer which I am enjoying enormously. Lazy Butare day, lunch in Matar, beer in Faucon, early bed, tried to rest leg as much as possible.

(Alfred: actually, a LOT more happened on that Monday but he’s saving it for a special blog entry later!)

Tuesday 14th April
Seriously bored at this stage. Thought of heading home to Gisagara and being bored there but the leg is still dodgy so there wasn’t really any point. Anyway, Chelsea are playing Liverpool tonight in what should be a formality of a second leg and it would be nice to see the game if possible. Met Tiga and Andy for coffee, dinner in Aux Délices Éternelles (OK, but doesn’t quite live up to the splendour of the restaurant’s name) and then met Andy for the match.

I had seen a flyer saying the match was on in the Millennium Sports Centre – had never heard of the place but it sounded quite grand and I was told it was up beyond the post office. Andy and I headed up and he noticed a crowd of people actually in the post office grounds itself. Sure enough that was it – the Millennium Sports Centre turned out to be a room with a projector, not unlike a parish hall in rural Ireland or England. There were well over a hundred people crammed in when we got there but we managed to get seats, and about another fifty came in after us until the guy on the door finally decided he just couldn’t cram any more people in.

Soccer fans will know the result, non-soccer fans aren’t interested so suffice to say it was one of the most exciting matches I have seen in ages. Andy also enjoyed the night overall, despite being neither a Chelsea or Liverpool fan (Alfred: Come on Kilmarnock!!!!!). His enjoyment of the occasion was tempered somewhat by his neighbour. He was a short, stocky man, a bit like Gladstone Small the English bowler of yesteryear (Alfred: think of a Rwandan Danny di Vito only a little taller) and was obviously a VERY enthusiastic Chelsea fan. He had also, equally obviously, been working very hard all day and had not had time to shower or change before coming to the match. One gets used to body odour here out of necessity, so it takes something out of the ordinary to break through one’s consciousness – but this was definitely out of the ordinary. If they ever invent olfactory television, this guy will have a career as the ‘before’ guy in the Lynx adverts.

As the match went on and got more and more exciting, Andy’s friend responded by jumping up and down, dancing on the floor and, when Chelsea scored their third goal, taking off all his clothes (well, top half anyway). He also punched Andy on the side of his head, either by accident out of enthusiasm or possibly in an attempt to dull his senses to the assault being perpetrated on them. All in all, the final whistle came as a relief to more than just the Chelsea fans and team!

ALFRED: NEXT EPISODE – THE RETURN TO WORK, THE RWANDAN GENERAL ARRIVES, THE GREAT RWANDAN CONSPIRACY AGAINST RUAIRÍ REVEALED, WHAT HAPPENED TO EDUCATION?, CHELSEA-ARSENAL, THOM’S BIRTHDAY PARTY AND DOWNLOADING OpenOffice.org AT 2kbs!!! TUNE IN SOON!