OK – sorry about the long hiatus. Going to try and keep this as brief as I can so it doesn’t get out of hand altogether
DICK EMERY WAS RWANDAN? THE GOVERNOR OF THE SOUTHERN PROVINCE ARRIVES
Wednesday 15th April
I got an early moto and headed straight out to the District Office, rucksack, walking stick and all. My boss had sounded pretty pissed off on the phone the last few times I spoke to him so I figured I’d better get there straight away. When I arrived I realised the reason for his short temper, and it wasn’t me at all, thank God! The District was having a major inspection – a team of twelve inspecting officers had arrived, led by the governor of the Southern Province who is a very respected, senior (and possibly feared) army general. When I got there they were off checking two sectors and were due back for a general meeting of all the staff. So everyone was just a teeny weensy little bit tense, especially as they were already two hours overdue for the meeting.
Eventually they arrived and we all shuffled into the hall. The general wasn’t there at this stage so his aide-de-campe chaired the meeting. It was tough: first the mayor gave a 90-minute report (yes, one and a half hours nonstop) on every department in the district. Then the aide-de-campe or one of the other experts asked specific questions about individual items and they weren’t shy about being quite in people’s faces if there was anything vague or contradictory or just not believable. For example, our district seems to be the only one in Rwanda with declining rates of malaria – they wanted to know if this actually was the case and, if so, how had we achieved this?!
It went on for hours and hours and my knee was getting REALLY painful. And then word went round that the general had arrived, and everyone sat up really straight and looked excited. And in he came, preceded by a number of huge submachine-gun toting bodyguards). He is a short man, maybe five-six (hard to tell with a lot of really tall people around him). He was dressed in trainers, blue jeans, a very pretty lemon-yellow v-necked sweater and a large fringed scarf or shawl that he wore around his neck and thrown over one shoulder. I realised how strongly he reminded me of Dick Emery in various of his shows. He was hugely welcomed and greeted by all and sat at the table, running his fingers through his hair and smiling at everyone. Alexis told me that he was famous for being very down-to-earth and not ever making anything special of his status – this is why he doesn’t dress in uniform on occasions like this but chooses a less formal attire.
After a short while he had to leave again, with a few languid flutters of his fingers at various friends or acquaintances in the audience. It was fascinating to listen to how hugely he is regarded here – everyone was telling me stories later of how impressed they were that he had come there himself and how easy he was to get on with (though I inferred from their stories of how he achieved his rank and reputation that he wasn’t a person to mess around with!!).
The meeting eventually finished somewhere between 2030 and 2100 and I staggered off home in the pitch dark. I hadn’t thought to bring a torch as work usually finished two hours before sunset and this is not a road I had ever done in the dark before. Between the pain in my knee and the rucksack and the stick it was an interesting journey!! But I made it home at last, dropped my stuff, unpacked my bag ... and found a torch in the side pocket!!! What would Alfred have said??
Oh, yes. And one more thing. In the entire four and a half hours or so of the meeting, you want to know how much time was devoted to education? One sentence.
THE RWANDAN CONSPIRACY AGAINST RUAIRÍ REVEALED
Thursday 16th April
One of the fascinating things about the English language is how exactly the same words can mean very different things in different places. Here, in Rwanda, the phrase ‘Sorry, sorry’ is used to indicate sympathy, not apology. If you see someone fall or stumble or drop things or if they tell you some bad news, your response is ‘Sorry, sorry’. This can take a bit of getting used to!
On Wednesday I had travelled by moto or in the dark so Thursday was the first day that people could see me walking with the stick. As I headed to the District office in the afternoon, I passed dozens of people working in the fields and gardens on the way. They are used to seeing me every day but, as I hove into view, slowly, calls of ‘Sorry, sorry’ began to drift towards me from all directions. As I neared the District Office, the cries increased and I began to feel that the entire Rwandan people had been part of some giant conspiracy to make me fall into that hole, but now that they had seen the results of their handiwork, they were regretting it!
The only other interesting thing that happened (apart from extraordinary levels of sympathy, including the mayor and the executive secretary calling round to see if I was OK) was this job application that came in. Actually, it wasn’t an application as much as a request from a school to confirm that they could appoint this person as a primary teacher in their school. Presumably they were either the best or the only applicant for a current vacancy. The applicant (who shall remain anonymous, as shall the school) received the following grades in her A-levels/Leaving Cert equivalent:
Maths F
French C
Kinyarwandan D
English F
Geography F
History F
Physics F
Psychology B
Biology F
Practical B
Result PASS
She would have chosen the teaching option for her upper secondary which is why Psychology and Practical Work feature. This person will also be expected to teach through English: the subjects at primary level are English, Maths, Kinyarwandan, Sciences and Entrepreneurship. The scary thing is not just that this is sufficient to get you a job as a teacher but that that set of grades translates into a ‘pass’ mark! (Alfred:Or maybe that should be the other way round!)
THOM’S BIRTHDAY AND TRAVEL CHAOS
Saturday 18th and Sunday 19th April
As you may have seen from the photos on an earlier posting, it was Thom’s twenty-fifth birthday the weekend before last! Amy, Andy, Thom and I all met up in Kigali for the occasion. We ended up in Auberge la Caverne as St pauls’ turned out to be full; it was more expensive but paid off when we found that the bar opposite was actually a sports bar. The point of the evening was the FA Cup match between Chelsea (my team) and Arsenal (Thom’s team) and finding somewhere to watch football in central Kigali can be really hard!! The food was good too – I had spaghetti bolognese and it was gorgeous; Amy had fish in garlic sauce, the two guys had steaks). And Chelsea won! Not a great display by Arsenal it has to be said – I actually think Thom wasn’t too disappointed as Chelsea were a lot better (See photo of Thom the day after for evidence to back up this assertion).
Friday was Thom’s actual birthday – brunch in Bourbon and presents (see photos). He seemed pleased with his elephant and Matar gift certificate!! Then I headed off to catch a bus to Butare. And this is where the fun started! I had completely forgotten that all the secondary schools were re-opening on Monday and, as over 95% of secondary school students are boarders, the entire teenage and early adult population of the country seemed to be looking for bus tickets. I had got a call from Enock and Enos who were on their way back from Kampala; they had got as far as Nyamagogo outside Kigali and asked me to buy three tickets for my bus and they would be able to get on at Nyamagogo. No problem, I thought.
I managed to get tickets for the 1500 bus and off we set, a little late. However, when we got to Nyamagogo, there were far more people with tickets than there were places on the bus and Enock and Enos got stranded there. I ended up in Butare, my leg very sore again from the journey, and sat in the Faucon waiting for them to come down on a later bus; well, to be honest, praying they WOULD be able to get a later bus, but they did. Felt like a right idiot, even though it wasn’t really my fault!!
1 comment:
Wow..... many of my 'special' students would do very well over there with results like that.... there's a thought.... watch out!!!
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