AFRICAN SNIPPETS

I've been collecting stories like these since I got here. Most are actually from Ugandan newspapers, which are a lot more interesting than Rwandan ones. Some of the stories are funny, some are just VERY different, some are horrific. Most, if not all, of my blog entries so far have been pretty positive, and rightly so. But there are other things that happen (just as at home, to be honest, if not quite in the same way) .............



THREE KILLED ON NEW YEAR’S IN RUKUNGIRI
THREE people were murdered on New Year’s day after a quarrel over a girl in Rukungiri district. District Police Commander Stanley Tibakanya said Dan Bututu accused Bernard Tukwasibwe of deterring his cousin from going out with him.

It is alleged that after the celebrations at midnight in Kayaga trading centre, Bwambara sub-county, Bututu bribed three people with waragi to lynch Tukwasibwe. The trio allegedly followed him to his house and lynched Tukwasibwe, before killing him.


Following Tukwasibwe’s death, relatives trailed the murderers. The suspects were found in a rice plantation in Kikarara village and immediately stabbed to death with spears and machetes.
The Police has identified the dead as Livingstone Mutatina and Dan Bututu. Another suspect Julius Tindiwensi was rescued by the Police from the mob in a critical condition and was rushed to Nyakibale Hospital.


Mob kills suspect at Police station
Monday, 15th December, 2008

By Luke Kagiri
A mob on Friday stormed Ssekanyonyi Police post in Mityana district and killed a suspect. The man was believed to have stolen a boda-boda motorcycle from Mityana town. Charles Kasule, the LC1 secretary for defence, said: “He drugged a cyclist, then stole his motorcycle. I took him to the Police but the crowd followed us. They stormed the post, dragged him out and burnt him to ashes.”

Kasule said the suspect had earlier on been interrogated and had identified himself as Hassan Ssemakula, a resident of Kiganda. “In his pockets, he had a knife and other tools.” The district officer in charge of criminal investigations, Angel Okello, condemned the act and warned the residents against mob justice. “It is still a fresh case to comment on but these cyclists must stop taking the law into their own hands,” Okello said. He said a policeman was injured when the mob attacked and threw stones at the Police post.

Guard loses bicycle trying to save meat
Friday, 2nd January, 2009

By Vision reporter
A security guard was last Friday thrown into anguish when he lost his bicycle trying to save his meat. Happily riding on Old Port Bell Road after securing a ‘Christmas delicacy’ for his family, a pedestrian snatched the kaveera containing the meat from the bicycle. The guard immediately jumped off the bicycle, abandoning it at the road, to pursue the thief.

A third party, suspected to have been the thief’s accomplice complicated matters for the guard by helping himself to the abandoned bicycle. He stealthily rode away as all the attention had been turned on the guard’s pursuit for his meat. After a long chase the thief dropped the kaveera. The guard picked it, only to return and find his bicycle gone.

Mother of four imprisoned for dumping baby in pit latrine
Sunday, 14th December, 2008

By Moses Nampala

A WOMAN who dropped her nine-day-old baby in a latrine has been sentenced to three years in prison. Fatuma Auro, a mother of four, said she desperately wanted a boy child.

She became disappointed when she delivered a girl, yet her co-wife, a mother of three, had two boys. Auro threw the infant, only named as Nyafwono, in a pit latrine on November 10 in Nagongera town council, Tororo district. On the fateful day, relatives say they saw Auro moving between her house and the latrine.

One of the children who visited the latrine, alerted people around the home that she heard a baby crying from the latrine. Auro was arrested after she could not say where her baby was. Residents removed the body from the latrine and buried it. The Tororo chief magistrate, Moses Anguwalia, passed the sentence against Auro.

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Alfred: I like this next one, mainly for the wonderful proverb in the last paragraph!
Yes, Police officers are very greedy
Sunday, 14th December, 2008

EDITOR—I would like to add value to Derek Kabenge’s observations in his letter “Greedy traffic cops!” I have interacted with several boda-boda riders inquiring why they flout traffic rules.

Strangely, it is safer for them that way! When a cop nabs them, their bikes are taken to the station and they are required to pay sh50,000 to get them back. It makes no difference that their papers are in order. These unscrupulous officers stop a truck, and force the drive to carry the bikes to the Police station at no cost. The traffic charges against such a driver are dropped!

When I suggested that such errant officers should be reported to their superiors, they just laughed with derisive scorn—a monkey cannot pass sentence against the forest! The superiors are part of the scandal! So to avoid the encumbering costs, the boda-boda men just jump lights to escape injustice. What a shame!

J. Amailuk amailukonline@gmail.com

Thinking about sex can make you sneeze
Wednesday, 31st December, 2008

Sneezing may give a lot more away than the fact that you have a cold - it could mean you are having lurid thoughts about sex. Researchers have found evidence that in certain people, sneezing can be triggered by sexual fantasy.

Dr Mahmood Bhutta, an ear, nose and throat specialist at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, launched the study after seeing a patient who suffered "uncontrollable" sneezing fits every time he had a sexual thought.

"We thought this unusual and performed a literature search of the topic," he wrote in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.

Together with a colleague Dr Harold Maxwell, a retired consultant psychiatrist, Bhutta launched a study and found that 17 people of both sexes reported sneezing immediately they thought about sex, and three had the same experience after orgasm.

"Our findings do suggest that it is much more common than recognised," wrote Bhutta and Maxwell. “I think this reflex demonstrates evolutionary relics in the wiring of a part of the nervous system called the autonomic nervous system...the part beyond our control.”

Sneezing usually occurs in response to nasal irritation, triggering a reflex that expels air at speeds of around 150 kilometres an hour. The news could lead to raised eyebrows on the taxi next time a passenger sneezes after looking at you.


Ritual murders since last year
Monday, 24th November, 2008


June 6, 2007: Ismael Ssekajja, a nine-year-old pupil of Mahad Primary School in Kisekka sub-county, Masaka district, was beheaded and the body dumped in a swamp. The body parts were missing.

July 16, 2007: James Wanzaale, 12, of Nansyono village, Gadumire sub-county in Kaliro district, was allegedly beheaded by his uncle, Patrick Baligeya, in a bid to get wealth.

September 15, 2007: Joram Namanyira, 12, was killed by a guard, George Wadonya, who allegedly connived with the boy’s caretaker, Rose Nabwire, in Rubaga division, Kampala. The Police found the body in Saul Kaya’s home in what the Police called a ritual murder.

February1, 2008: 11-year-old Jimmy Turyagyenda was almost sold for sh3m to a witch-doctor by his father Jackson Nzaine in Katabi, Entebbe.

May 2, 2008: Hassan Ondoga of Naguru Kampala went missing and his body was found burnt at the Golf Course in Kololo. The Police suspected a ritual sacrifice.

May 27, 2008: Three traditional healers were arrested in Bwondha village in Malongo sub-county, Bugiri district, over possession of a human skull, hair and bones. The Police said they were involved in human sacrifice.

October 26, 2008: The body of seven-year-old Bwenge was found in a pit-latrine belonging to Grace Kansiime a week after he went missing. Kansiime was a sister-in-law of a traditional healer. The Police said the body had cuts, with the tongue, private parts and heart missing.

October 27, 2008: Joseph Kasirye, 12, was allegedly beheaded by Umar Kateregga, a witch-doctor in Masaka, with the help of his Tanzanian wife Mariam Nabukeera.

November 2, 2008: Assailants beheaded 73-year-old Sylvester Lwanga of Lwagurwe village in Kyanamukaka sub-county, Masaka district. The Police suspected ritual purposes.

November 19, 2008: 18-year-old Fiona Namutaaya of Kawempe, Kampala, was arrested over theft of a one-year-old baby, David Gwanga. The child was stolen from the mother’s house in Nsambya Kevina Zone, Makindye division, for sacrifice. The baby was recovered.

Camel meat now a delicacy in Kampala
Thursday, 1st January, 2009

By Agnes Kyotalengerire

CAMEL meat commonly refered to as “nyama ya ngamiya”is fast becoming a delicacy in Kampala. Dr. George Nasinyami a veterinary doctor and public health specialist says that camel meat is nutritious just like any other meat.

Abdi Fatah Ibrahim a Somali and a dealer in camel meat explains that fat from the camels hump contains medicinal values. “When melted and boiled, the fat is used to treat malaria, measles, ulcers, tuberclosis, breast cancer and diabetes All you have to do is to mix a desirable amount of fat in foodstuff” explains Fatah.

Currently, there are three popular camel meat restaurants in Kampala: Zaituni hotel, Raniadan hotel and As Al- Qudus hotel all in Kisenyi. “We prepare camel meat stew and it is served with pispas (chilli) soup”, explains Abdihakim Abdullahi a hotel supervisor at As-Al-Qudus hotel Kisenyi says that a plate of plain camel meat costs sh6000 (€3) while meat with niacron costs sh7700 (€4).

Procedure

• Cut the meat into small pieces and sun dry it for 1-2 hours • Without adding any spices, fry it using camel fat or vegetable cooking oil • Add salt to taste • Put aside to cool • Store in a clean dry container.


Recipe
When serving, scoop a desirable amount using a clean ladle to avoid contaminating the preserved meat. Warm it on slight heat and serve. Abdihakim advises that when preparing camel meat stew, one should put little water because the meat is very aquatic and produces a lot of water when steamed


Uganda must keep watch over her own albinos
Monday, 8th December, 2008

KAROORO OKURUT
A literary and socio-political analyst The image of a little girl holding a doll, probably thinking she was on an ice cream evening out with an uncle, only to be buried alive at the behest and for the benefit of a money-lusting tycoon, is one of the most powerful yet, painted in Uganda’s media lately.

It is also hands-down, one of the most depressing stories ever; one that has given many readers nightmares ever since. Personally, every time I close my eyes on the shores of slumberland, I wake up, heart pounding and tears knocking at the door. There is a predictable story line: a child is lured into accepting little gifts like sweets or biscuits and is then whisked away to a shrine where the witchdoctors kill and chop off body parts like genitals, tongue and heart, or is buried alive as was the case recently.

The deal is that the sacrifice will ensure blessings from the powers of evil to the tune of great riches – bestowed on the one who procured the grisly act. Police statistics show that last year alone, 230 children disappeared in the country. Of these at least 12 are confirmed to have been sacrificed. Given that reportage of such incidents is low, the number of actual cases must be much more than we are told.

Across the border in Tanzania, an even more grisly tale is being told: albinos both young and old, are being captured in broad daylight and whisked off to be killed by those pursuing quick wealth.

Tanzania has about 300,000 albinos out of a total population of 35 million, but they are dying by the hundreds. Witchdoctors and devil worshippers believe that the organs of these people are a potent remedy when mixed with certain concoctions because it is believed they can effect miracle cures or offer mystical powers. A combination of blood, bones, skin, sexual organs, limbs and hair taken from albinos is used to create a ‘magic potion’ sold for a minimum $2000. Even in death, the albinos can no longer rest in peace because their bodies are exhumed and mutilated.

Tanzania is enjoying a thriving cross-border trade with Burundi where albinos, including children, are chased down, killed and dismembered. One man (in Burundi), was pursued by four armed men and had to hide in the forest for two days. In Burundi’s Ruyigi province, the personal residence of one official has been turned into an albino safehouse, surrounded by a three- metre high wall, where some 45 albinos from the all over the region have taken shelter.

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The Ugandan paper New Vision, has a wonderful section on dates it has arranged - here is one!

Mystery Date: Sincere meets Ahmed


EACH week, one lucky single person gets the chance to choose a dream date. This week, Ahmed, 28, went with Sincere, 20, to Choma Restaurant at Centenary Park, Jinja Road. But a phone call almost disorganises the date

Sincere

Where do you live? Mukono
Occupation: Cosmetologist
Interests: Music / Film
Favourite Film: Secret Of Love
Music RnB, Hiphop
What do people find attractive about you: My eyes and voice
What would you love your mystery dream date to be? Handsome, Caring
What makes you laugh? comedy


Ahmed

Where do you live? Kawempe
Occupation: Hair dressing student
Interests: Watching movies
Favourite Film: My Sister, My love
Music: Ragga
What do people find attractive about you? My humility
What would you love your mystery dream date to be? Religious and understanding
What makes you laugh? Being with a loved one

Ahmed
She appeared almost 40 minutes later and apologised for it. I was impressed by the first sight. Shortly after, the waitress came for our orders. She told me she once had a boyfriend but he left for further studies abroad. “For how long should we be here?” she asked. “One hour,” I replied. “No, let’s take at least two hours,” was her suggestion, which I agreed to.

I asked if I could call her at any time and she said I could. She told me she was a singer and played for me a recording of her music on phone. The song was nice. She said she was looking for a music manager to promote her.

We later exchanged contacts and pledged to keep in touch. We left the place, hand-in-hand.

What did you find striking about her? She was well-dressed and had a nice figure.
Did you observe anything you weren’t comfortable with? She received a call from someone who I thought was the boyfriend, yet she had said there was none.
How do you know it was a boyfriend? She said on phone she loved him.
Did you ask her about it? No, I just acted as though I had not listened to the conversation.
Does that mean you’ve given up on her? I have not yet decided.

Sincere Nangendo

When I arrived, he told me he had been there for two hours. I apologised for turning up late. When he told me he was Muslim, I first inquired whether he minded if I boozed. When he gave me a go ahead, I ordered for a bottle of Guinness beer.

As we were chatting, I asked if he was married but he said he wasn’t, though he lived with his son’s mother. I told him I would get married after six years but then he said it would be too late for me. “Do you have somebody you love?” he asked. I told him that there was no one. When he wanted to know why there was no one, I told him: “True love is like a shadow, you can keep loving people but each time they may leave you for no good reason.” We then exchanged contacts and left.

How did you like the guy? He was friendly.
What did you find unpleasant about him? He does not booze.
Will you go out with him if he invites you? If I am free, I cannot hesitate.
Has he called you since then? He called me this afternoon and I promised to call him next.

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OK – this is the best so far, though some of the stuff is a little wierd (and uncleare - at least to me). I’m not sure if it is the wonderful usage of English, or the comments, or the imagery, or the general topic (apologies and warnings to anyone who is not prepared to read a lot of details about circumcision, sex and related matters!). (‘Kony’ is Joseph Kony, leader of the LRA (Lord’s Resistence Army), a nasty guerilla movement operating in northern Uganda, Garambla National Park is where it had been holed up until recently.)

Ten reasons for circumcising
Wednesday, 31st December, 2008

Hilary Bainemigisha

Happy New Year! 2009 will be a year of the American debt crunch. People will lose money. But for you reading this, may the only major loss you get be your foreskin which, if Government is to be trusted, may come easier than harder.

Government sat and thought, (and I quote): “If Kony cannot come to the mountain, then the mountain will have to be delivered to Garamba bombastically.” They have waited for you to bring your instruments of power for sharpening for too long. Now they are delivering circumcision to your doorstep.

I sat with my cousin during Christmas and tried to convince him to circumcise. After an hour of what looked like a brilliant presentation, he asked: How can I avoid it?No you shouldn’t especially if you are reading this.

I am giving you 10 reasons why you must cut it.

Because you are not circumcised.
Experts advise that if you are already circumcised, you don’t need to do it again. A foreskin is not like Kony’s possessions. He can afford to lose a suit, a guitar, wig, bed – one by one, but the foreskin is different. God could only manage to create one for each male and if you haven’t lost it, you have it.

Measurable protection against HIV infection
Jokes aside, pay attention. Research has allocated a 50% protection from HIV to circumcised men. This means if 100 men have sex with infected women and they are not circumcised, all of them are most likely to be scorched by the virus attack. But if the 100 were circumcised, only 50 may get it and 50 may escape like Kony from Allied attack. It is an added protection to other protective measures like correct and consistent use of condoms.

Protection from STDs
Uncircumcised men are prone to other sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis and gonorrhoea. Studies have associated circumcision with lower rates of syphilis, chancroid and genital herpes and genital warts. It is only those who have never interacted with STDs who will not applaud at this.

Protecting your partner
Oh yes, who doesn’t know how selfish most men are? But circumcision will give you the chance of protecting your partner from cervical cancer without having to refer to your wallet. Actually the human papillomavirus (HPV) lives in the foreskin and no amount of peace talks can get it out. So, striking Garamba would not be such a bad idea.

Protection against Cancers
This HPV is also a known risk factor for penile cancer. Circumcised men are much less likely to harbour the virus, which causes cancer of the penis.

Protection against injury
Throughout its lifetime, a penis is likely to encounter such conditions as tears, rashes and injury while on duty and all these are because the protective foreskin withdraws during sex exposing the softer tissue to the unfriendly environs of the female counterpart. But after circumcision, the penis head hardens like the outer skin and becomes an armour against infection that is if you don’t meet a very drunk but dry circumcised Sebei woman on a day when your brains are not working.

Hygiene, especially in infectious conditions
Circumcision could have started as an effective method of maintaining penile hygiene. Poor hygiene is not only dangerous to you (can cause infection) but also to your partner. The cut can save you several rounds of antibiotics. And for females, the feeling that you are clean, relaxes their super sensitive minds enabling them to enjoy sex.

Reduced sensitivity
One of the leading causes of sexual tension and performance anxiety is premature ejaculation and inability to sustain sex long enough for your partner to run across the finishing line. All these result from high sensitivity of the penis head. Circumcision helps reduce this sensitivity, enabling you run the marathon category of the Kipsiros. Living long enough to see all your partners coming home gives you confidence that will bring down spousal violence and domestic tension.

It will be safe
Government is assuring everybody that the type of circumcision sought will be medical male circumcision. This is done by trained personnel, whose hands are blessed with academic credentials. Imagine handing over your most important tool to people looking for the day’s meal!

It will be free of charge for everyone
Normally, I hate free things except oxygen. But this, you should not resist. For all the taxes you pay, how many of you will ever get the NSSF opportunity Mbabazi got? If you ever want to eat-ko on your tax money, bring your manhood for improvement.

I wish you all a great circumcision year.

hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug