Please note that VSO is in no way connected with or responsible for the content, comments and observations in this blog: these are solely my own in a personal capacity.
JOKE: Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Sunday
Earlyish breakfast with Beatta: we decided that we would go off to the market together later that afternoon after the Chelsea-Liverpool match and do a little shopping. I told Eli I was heading off but that I would be back around 1700 for the meeting with Pascal’s action group. I headed off to the cybercafé to gather more English teaching materials – bought a book called ‘Compelling Conversations’ from an American guy called Eric Roth which turns out to be a bit advanced for my lot but they may work their way up to it in time. I downloaded it in PDF format (5.5MB) which took ages! He agreed to email me the Word version as well so I can correct the US spellings before giving out photocopies! I also checked the Guardian website to see when the Chelsea-Liverpool match was starting – 12:30 English time which is 1330 here.
As I left the cybercafé, I noticed the market gates were locked – obviously no market on a Sunday. Arrived in the hotel just as the rain started and thunder growled in the distance. They were showing a recording of the Sunderland-Newcastle match from the previous day. I asked about Chelsea-Liverpool and the manager brought me back into a room where all the satellite equipment is kept and began to hunt for the signal, as the match had already started. As we hunted the signals began dropping out because of the thunderstorm and I realised it just wasn’t going to happen. Anyway, he had tried his best for almost fifteen minutes, you can’t ask for more.
Having already ordered a beer I decided to stay and finish it and hope maybe to catch the end of the match. With about (I estimated) fifteen minutes left, my ‘friend’ from previous occasions, Bezo (antiques smuggler, alleged Chelsea fan, general fixer and purveyor of whatever you want) turned up with a friend for the match. I said it was almost over and they were somewhat taken aback, rang a friend or two and said something along the lines of ‘No, I don’t think so’. The barman changed channels and, lo and behold, there was the pre-match discussion. So much for the Guardian website! I looked around for the hotel manager to see if I could apologise for the earlier histrionics but he wasn’t there (and, to be honest, is unlikely to be too worried).
Bezo and his friend went out back to meet some other footballing friends of theirs and I went with them. There was a huge crowd (about sixty) gathered in front of another screen and there was combined hilarity and cheering at the sight of my Chelsea shirt. The crowd seemed to be about one-quarter Chelsea, one quarter Liverpool and the rest hostile to both!
Anyway, the less said about the match the better (Chelsea lost for the uninitiated among you). However, a number of REALLY interesting things did happen. Another guy, Malenge, who had been doing the house-hunting for Tina and me, turned up and said he needed to speak to me urgently. When I joined him, away from the rest of the group, he said that the owner of one of the houses he had shown me, and that I no longer needed, was convinced Malenge was lying to him about what had happened, didn’t believe there was any muzungu at all and was threatening to hand the property over to someone else to let for him. Would I be willing to speak to this person – he is currently one of the country’s three vice-presidents or else was one and is now a government minister, or was a government minister (me and French compound tenses are still in the negotiating phase). So I pick up the phone and, sure enough, that is what it was all about. I explain to this guy (who has excellent English) all that happened, assured him that Malenge was doing a good job and that I would be happy to recommend him to VSO if any more volunteers are coming to Butare. Malenge seemed very pleased at the outcome, which is good because he actually did do a very good job for me and Tina.
Back to the match and chatting with Bezo and his footballing friends. It turns out they have ambitions (wait for it) of going to Ireland and playing in the League of Ireland as a way of getting noticed by English league clubs and thereby making the transition to the big time! I did try and explain (and no offence intended to the League of Ireland here) that the clubs there were not swimming in money and the chance of an anonymous application from Rwanda being greeted with enthusiasm and the swift dispatch of air tickets, visas and expenses was slim to say the least but a starving dog with a bone would not cling more tenaciously than they did to this dream of theirs. What they wanted from me were the names, addresses and contact details of the main League of Ireland clubs that might be interested in hiring them! I said, fine, if they really wanted to do that I could easily get the info (a half an hour on the Internet and they could have done it themselves to be honest). I also began to wonder if this was another of Bezo’s money-making schemes – was he shaking these guys down for a ‘consultancy’ fee in return for introducing them to this Irish ‘expert’ who could ‘guarantee’ them jobs in Ireland.
We arranged that I would be in the Faucon on Monday evening at 19.30 with the info: I said it was important that I met the actual players as well (as I wanted to make it clear exactly what I was and was not able to do) and they said fine.
So the next thing was generators. The other players had drifted away and Bezo and I were left. He said he remembered I had said I might need a generator for my new house and he might have someone who could supply me with one. I said it needed to be not too expensive and cheap to run because I couldn’t afford to spend too much on petrol. He thought this was hysterically funny so I told him how much I was earning a month (RWF150,000). He got even more hysterical with laughter until it began to dawn on him that maybe I was telling the truth and I wasn’t the super-rich muzungu he had presumed I was! This was not according to plan for him.
However, for me, I will need a generator and maybe Bezo is the kind of person who can actually arrange that for me, so I figured I would throw out a carrot. I said that of course it might be VSO who pay for a generator so I was still interested and if he had any details I could pass them on to the office. He said he would bring me some specifications once he got the chance. Also, he would ring me tomorrow with any details he had, or he would if he had any credit on his phone! Ah-ha! So I said I would lend him enough for phone credit but it was a test – he would have to have the money back for me tomorrow or I would know he couldn’t be trusted (I figured it would be a small but possibly worthwhile investment to just see if he is serious before I get into anything else). He headed off and I continued to watch – actually I forget what match was on next, it was Arsenal against someone but it wasn’t very exciting and I decided to head back to the hotel.
As I arrived in it suddenly dawned on me – the meeting with Pascal’s group, I had completely forgotten about it!! I was about two hours late but, being Rwanda, I just muttered something about difficulties and no-one seemed in the least put out. The group seemed to be bogged down in writing a constitution for the group and hadn’t gotten very far even with that and, as more people join the group, the aims and objectives and planned activities seem to be metamorphosing with bewildering rapidity so I am not really sure where this is all going at this stage or whether it will end up going anywhere at all. I made a variety of suggestions without any real sense of conviction to be honest (they had a clause saying the organisation’s main purpose was the promotion of the interests of its members, who are also defined as all those who sign up and pay a subscription – hardly a way to reach out to and encourage the participation of the vulnerable, isolated and victimised people they claim to be trying to help). Part of the problem here is that it is strictly forbidden to set up any kind of group or association without permission: it must be registered with the local authorities and jump through all sorts of official hoops before you can get going. The government is (possibly understandably) nervous of any groups being set up unless it knows exactly what their intention is! So all this focussing on a constitution etc is unfortunately necessary but they do need to get the finger out if they are going to be up and running for their first planned event on December 31st.
Decided to get some dinner but this was the moment where my stomach said it had had enough of the Ineza diet – carbohydrate overload! Got through a few forkfuls and then gave up. I felt really bad – people do NOT waste food here and it is the first time I had left food behind like that but there wasn’t really any choice!! Off to bed knowing that I am at least going to work tomorrow and going up to Nyanza on Wednesday to pick Ken Franklin’s brains!!
Monday
So, today was what I have read about in many other blogs as a typically Rwandan day. Francois had warned me he wouldn’t be around much for the next three days as the state exams are on and he has to check out the schools. I decided to get to the office a bit late as there wouldn’t be anyone there. I did the Internet cafe to see if Eric Roth had sent me the Word version of his book (he had – thanks Eric) and then got a moto out to Gisagara. I found someone to unlock the office and then discovered that the generator was off and there was no electricity, nor would there be for the foreseeable future. I spent a few hours just digging through piles of folders and reports trying to find out exactly what was there and the answer was – everything and nothing! It looks like someone tried to do something in 2006 as there was a lot of material for that year properly sorted but everything else seemed to be in a complete mess (that or I don’t get the filing system). I did find a big pile of MINEDUC documents on School Inspections, Quality Assurance, Educational Planning and suchlike (some in English, some in French) so that was something and I took a few away with me to read. However, my laptop had gone flat at this stage and I hadn’t yet printed out the stuff for my afternoon classes, so I decided to head off to the other section of the District Office (about 1½ km away) where I would be teaching my class anyway.
The walk was the usual one of scattered cries of ‘muzungu, muzungu’ and small processions of children (obviously not in school) but it is only about 13 minutes so not so bad. When I arrived I was told that all the staff had been in a meeting all day long which was still in progress and no-one knew if there would be a class or not. A really nice guy called Vincent invited me into his office and found me a socket for my laptop, printed off my class notes and generally made me at home (he is in charge of running the co-operatives in the district). The other teacher, Enoch, turned up as well as a third, Charis (?sp) so we were trying to decide who was going to teach which classes, today and long-term. I explained I would be away for two weeks starting Monday 3rd November. Enoch said he would be away that first week as he was supervising exams and Charis had applied to be a supervisor but had not heard yet whether or not he had been accepted. We agreed to talk Friday on exactly how we were going to run these classes between the three of us, at which point we were formally told everyone was too tired and there would be no class today. So I went off back to town!!
Arrived back in town (via a somewhat unsteady moto which I fell off at the end, no harm done but it flustered me so I forgot to get him to sign my receipt book! Memo: only hire the more powerful machines and only when driven by a guy who looks strong enough to control it!)(Alfred: in case you are wondering why he said ‘guy’, only men drive motos here, the only women we have seen with motos are abazungu like us. The sight of Ruairí getting a lift on the back of Jane’s moto was enough to cause amazed looks all round!). One problem for me is that my eating patterns have become completely irregular – long periods of fasting followed by a sudden large meal, not good. So I decided to take advantage of my earlyish return to get a proper early dinner in the Matar. And it was nice: baked potato with cheese and beans filling (RWF600) and an avocado salad with lemon juice dressing (RWF800) (and an enormous pile of grated carrot underneath which I couldn’t finish) and a Fanta citron (RWF400) which has become my drink of choice other than beer. Total cost RWF1800 (£1.80 or €2.50). More on budgeting in my next post.
Earlier today, I had got a message from Bezo saying he had information on the generator for me and would see me later as planned. So I headed home, dropped my stuff and then went off to meet the guy I am beginning to think of as Butare’s answer to The Artful Dodger, or Del Boy or that guy from Minder or whoever! And there he was with the generator manual and the generator owner (a huge guy who looked like Samuel L. Johnson from Pulp Fiction but with his hair trimmed better). The conversation didn’t go too well, as Bezo had obviously told Samuel I was ready to buy then and there! I explained in slow, very careful French to make sure I was clearly understood that: a) VSO already had a generator, in Kibeho b) if it was working OK, I would obviously get that one c) if it wasn’t working it was up to VSO to decide how to provide one d) if, and only if, they wanted to source one locally, then I would pass Bezo and Samuel L. Jackson’s contact details on to Enias in VSO and they could deal directly with him. So, exit one rather disgruntled Samuel, luckily not quoting from Ezekiel whatever it is in the film (Alfred: Ruairí left out their other remarks – the generator costs RWF700,000 which seems a lot and it is extremely powerful! Samuel dropped a number of remarks emphasising how careful you need to be using it – not exactly a recommendation when all you want to run is a few lights and maybe one plug!!)
As Samuel left, the footballers arrived and again it was time for frank talking. I gave them the list of clubs and contact details that I had got off the internet that morning but emphasised that their chances of getting a response was minimal. I said would they not consider England where there were such a large number of clubs, right down to the ... well, whatever they now call the Conference and the other teams lower down. No, no, no, no, no: England for them meant Premiership and they felt (!) that was too big an ask as a first step! Then they started asking me about passports and visas and I said they needed to realise that I knew precisely NOTHING about anything like that, or indeed about football. All I had done was gather information publicly available on the internet. In this case, they were fine with that – they said Bezo had told them I was a teacher and nothing to do with football but that they just thought they would try their luck and send off some CVs and CDs of their footballing skills! It turns out Bezo is actually one of the footballers also and is hoping to be one of those who heads off.
Anyway, they thanked me fulsomely and lavishly and I wished them all the best of good luck and, if through some incredible stroke of luck one of them actually makes it then I might actually start believing in God again! That or the Tooth Fairy. Or Boris Johnson – that’s probably the one that stretches credulity to the maximum.
(Alfred: sorry, I have to break in here again, mostly for those who know anything about the League of Ireland. Do you want to know what teams Ruairí has selected to be the new homes for the pick of Rwanda’s young footballers? Bohemians, Shamrock Rovers, Shelbourne, St Pat’s, Dundalk, Drogheda, Galway United ..... and Sporting Fingal! Why Sporting Fingal? Because they have a Wikipedia page! I hope he emails John Devine in Fingal, not to mention Paul Doolin in Drogheda and Jeff McKenna in Galway and everyone else to warn them what is going on!!!)
So finally Bezo and I were alone (dah!dah!). Bezo asked me what the average salary for a League of Ireland footballer was – I said I didn’t have a clue! He said he figured it was around €20,000 - €30,000 per week. Now it was my turn to laugh hysterically (see yesterday’s blog). I said you would be lucky to earn double that figure in a year (not that I know but I presume that’s a good guess). Bezo was crestfallen and then I said, since he had brought up the subject of money, where was the money he owed me? Ah ha! No problem, he said, he just had to go and fetch it. I reminded him of what I had said yesterday – this was the test as to whether I could trust him or not. Of course, of course, he said: he would meet me at the Ineza in a few minutes (I had to be back to meet Francois at 2000). Did he appear? Of course not!! (Alfred: which ‘he’ does he mean here? Well, as you probably guessed, both of them!) Anyway, that gives me a good defence if he starts getting too annoying. Pay me and I talk (well worth it for €5). Francois did ring at 2045 – he sounded terrible: I think he had been on the road the entire day visiting school and was absolutely wrecked so I said not to worry.
So an interesting day. Ken rang to defer my visit until later in November as he is up to his ears at the moment, so that kind of gives me a day off tomorrow. If I go out to Gisagara the guy who is taking my class for me won’t get paid (when I say ‘my class’ it really is his class so I’ll let him at it) so a chance to do some French and Kinyarwandan and catch up on emails and the blog (as you can see).
Before going to bed, I sat in the garden with Eli for half-an-hour talking about his plans for the future (Eli is the youngest brother of the hotel manager who was supposed to be going to university to study ICT in January but can’t afford the fees – c.€700 - and was unable to find a sponsor). He wanted advice on how to go about learning English properly (he speaks hardly any and only understands a little more than that). It was a good chat, partly because I became conscious of how much better my French has become! We figured on getting him some dual-language materials (maybe from my sister in Paris – hi Máirín, I’ll be in touch!) and downloading stuff from the Gutenberg website in both French and English, as well as some of their audio material in English. He just needs to practise and as there are almost always English-speaking guests here he should have plenty of opportunity once he acquires enough raw material to get started. And after all he has done to improve my French, it’s the least I can do. Again, as with the English classes, if anyone out there has ideas they would be welcome or indeed you can send me stuff for Eli to my post-box here: BP129, Butare, Rwanda. Murabeho!
JOKE: I wondered why the ball kept on getting bigger. And then it hit me.
Thank you very much to all of you who helped me to reach and exceed my fundraising total. I am continuing to fundraise for VSO for the next short while, so if you or anyone else you know feel like contributing , please go to www.mycharity.ie/event/ruairi. Murakoze cyane cyane!
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